Red Flag List - toxische Partner von Beginn an erkennen

1. He does things to make you feel financially obligated to him, without your asking. For instance, you haven't known each other for a year and he pays off your car to surprise you. If you and this loser break up, you will definitely get a notice to appear in small claims court to repay this "loan".
2. "The Dangling Carrot". This person throws money around to hook you, and make you believe that he is a generous person. Watch closely and you will see his attitude about money change over the months and years that you know him. The moment you are "hooked" either by moving in together or getting married, all of a sudden he is concerned about expenses and you'll find yourself nickel-and-dimed at every turn.
3. When you get into an argument, he tells you to, "Read Machiavelli's 'The Prince' so you can learn to deal with assholes like me."
4. He constantly says that ALL women are psycho. 
5. He sleeps constantly. In fact, he uses it--his need for sleep--as a regular excuse to miss meals, events and even quit work.
6. She/He engages and disengages without warning. For example, every time you take her out you have a great time and a lot of fun but then she barely returns your calls, or takes several days to return them. You end up calling first because you have fun together but you find yourself in a chase mode with no indication of whether or not she's willing to be caught. This is not courting, this is a game of control and dysfunctional interaction usually dominated by someone who has mental health issues. This person is good at yo yo-ing you're emotions and making you question yourself. Bottom line...they're users.
7. He admits to paying for and having sex with a prostitute. Quadruple red flag points if he admits he did it without a condom.
8. He hurts pets or talks about how he has hurt them in the past.
9. He directly endangers your life by driving drunk.
10. He has no hobbies other than watching TV
11. He (or SHE) tries to take you on as some sort of "project" and attempt to "improve" you, as if you need to be "fixed" and he/she's doing you some sort of favor.
12. Instead of being honest with you about how he feels, you find out that he (or SHE) ridicules you behind your back, even when you have expressed a preference for honesty. 
13. He decides that something about your behavior is bothering him, but never tells you directly, as a friend would, giving you the chance to have an open discussion. Instead, he drops subtle hints, or does it in a roundabout fashion, like sending a letter to a publication he knows you read, hoping you'll see it. When you don't pick up on the clues, he gets angry. 
14. You visit at his home or apartment and it has hardly any furnishings or curtains. You find out he didn't just move in - it's been like this for months or years. When you go on a date together he asks your opinion on curtains and sofas etc. He wants YOU to be the one who chooses the colour, décor and all the knick knacks and you have been dating for two weeks? Watch out! Men like this are searching for a mothering type to save them and fix them. Run now!
15. When you say you need space, he gets mad, and says, "Well, I thought we had a relationship WITHOUT boundaries..."
16. He says things like "You make me feel bad about myself" when you try to assert healthy boundaries.
17. He dumped his ex in an incredibly mean way - in front of her friends, or at their wedding, for example. Then tells you about it in great detail, with pride in his voice, expecting you to be impressed.
18. He doesn't like you talking about (or doesn't even let you talk about) any ex boyfriends/husbands, especially past sexual stuff
19. Complains about your clothes - that they are too tight, too revealing, etc. when they are really not.
20. You find keyloggers on your computer or find him trying to get into your emails
21. He makes it clear that he doesn't want you talking about him to anyone else.
22. He vassilates from day-to-day or week to week as to whether he wants to be in a relationship or not.
23. He checks out personal stuff while you are still dating.. such as your bills laying around, notes, letters, stuff on your computer
24. He wants to get you pregnant asap
25. He calls his mother everyday and for every thing that comes up in his daily life
26. He talks outside on the phone w/ his family, never around you
27. He never really talks about any ex's but does blame everything on them, they cheated, wanted $, etc.
28. He has ex wives that you find out about LATER
29. He doesn't like to go to social places like bars, where there are a lot of people and possible attention on you from other men
30. He refers to ex-girlfriends or wives with terms like "Bitch", "Cunt" or "Whore".

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